Loves Hates Recapitulates

May 24, 2011 -
Top 2 Finale
The High-Schooler Hoe-down!

Scotty McCreery
Lauren Alaina




the judges were foxed up for the season finale, J-Lo showing cleavage deluxe,
and Randy wearing a very happening slicker-than-slick jacket... niiiiice!!

For this final show, Scotty and Lauren sing 3 songs:

1) his and her favorite song of the season
2) celebrity choice by contestant's own "Idols."
3) debut singles- chosen by Jimmy "The Hat" Iovine


Scotty McCreery

(Montgomery Gentry)

Scotty reprised the country-rocker "Gone", his confident swagger in full effect as he cruised
the audience and stage. Positioned between the gee-tar and rocking violin guy (hey, I thought
he was Lauren's boy toy?), Scotty emanated charisma and a serious rock n roll element that
lit up the arena. Bang! Bang! indeed! good tune, and a great start to the country finale!


Lauren Alaina

“Flat on the Floor”
(Carrie Underwood)

Lauren Alaina hopes to follow in Carrie Underwood's footsteps, becoming the next American Country Idol,
getting in great shape, and having a multi-platinum record career. "Flat on the Floor" is a bouncy hit that
gives Lauren a chance to stretch her vocals and test her vocal chords for damage. The song matches
Scotty's opening intensity, and is a fine first finale number. For some reason the thought of Lauren
planking, being flat on the floor, doing a Carrie Under-wood comes to mind. Innit to winnit!

celebrity choice

Scotty McCreery

“Check Yes or No”
(George Strait)
chosen by George Strait

Yep, how nice of George Strait to choose his own song for Scotty to sing, might as well
get those Idol royalties rollin' in. Scotty picks up the guitar, and proceeds to wow with the
Strait-man's 1995 hit. Scotty strummed, crooned ,raised his eyebrows and sang in his
signature middle of the country road style. Nothing new, just Scotty. More violin guy.


Lauren Alaina
“Maybe It Was Memphis”
(Pam Tillis)
chosen by Carrie Underwood

More Carrie Underwood! Ms. Carrie's choice for Alaina is the 1991 Pam Tillis hit
"Maybe It Was Memphis." Alaina certainly looked the southern belle with her golden
hootenanny dress and sweet cowboy boots.

Purty Ms. Alaina sang her heart out, with backup from the violin guy, and
made this 1991 song sound contemporary and country radio-friendly.
This is the type of song for Lauren Alaina, rich choruses for her voice
to be, as J-Lo put it, "
strong and clear and beautiful."



Idol producers decided to have TAIO CRUZ come out in the middle of the
competition to sing his Coke-inspired hit "Positive", complete with tron-like
marching band. It was weird.

Taio Cruz on i-Cruz


debut singles

Scotty McCreery

“I Love You This Big”

I Love You This Big (American Idol Performance) - Single - Scotty McCreery

Scotty's debut single "I Love You This Big" has a huge chorus that has Kid McCreery stretching
his arms out to show just how big his love and his ears are for his adoring fans.
I enjoyed seeing scenes from Scotty's American Country Idol journey on the
big screen in back of him as he sang.

Although this song did not allow Scotty to really stretch out (other than his arms),
it's the type of song we've come to expect, with low lows and chorus highs, the fact that it has
a repeating (albeit boring) chorus is a significant producer move by Jimmy Ivy, a song that kids
can remember, sing along to, and buy. The iTunes version is hit singly all over. What, me worry?


Lauren Alaina
“Like My Mother Does”

Like My Mother Does (American Idol Performance) - Single - Lauren Alaina

Lauren’s final number “Like My Mother Does,” sounded like a certified, countrified hit.
Everything Lauren does well was captured in the song, and if she stands an iota of
a chance of becoming the next American Idol, this is the song to put her over the top.
Good choice by the hat-wearing mentor, as he said, "the perfect encapsulation of
Lauren Alaina's journey", which we saw on the larger than life screen as she sang.

Lauren took a Seacrest-aided walk down the step to hug and sing to her mom, what a great move!
You know moms will be voting for Lauren, at least those who don't have the same hots for
Scotty McHottie as their daughters.
J-Lo thought she might have pulled it out
"with heart, (sweet) emotion, and feeling."


Cooky crumbles

As the night ended, Idol winner David Cook, who now looks more mainstream
metrosexual than ever, sang his watered-down version of "Don't You Forget About Me"
that was fun to watch, if not listen to, to see this season's past contestants,
and give the final performance show a nice wrap.

David Cook's iTunes version is not as bad as you'd think. I prefer the original.

Don't You (Forget About Me) - Single - David Cook


Hence, the youngest duo in the history of "American Idol" gave it their all,
but was there every any doubt as to who would win?


what a fun finale, so many laughs, memories, unexpected guests,
singers, a truly stupendous tv event, starting with:

J-Lo looking hotter than ever, lioness
hair in full effect! what's that shampoo?

White on, Top 13

The Top 13, decked out in Idol white, start the show off with Lady Gaga's
"Born This Way". Props to Stefano, who looks SO happy to be back on stage.
Everyone looks happy and professional, ready to go on tour!

Lady Gaga Born This Way on iTunes


James Durbin delivers The Metal

James Durbin jammed with metal icons Judas Priest on their classic metal hits
"Living After Midnight" and "Breaking The Law" including bald, gray and gay Rob Halford!

Download Judas Priest iTunes Essentials:


Gospelusk gets Pipped out

Jacob Lusk joins gospelite Kirk Franklin for full-on version
of “I Smile” with special walk-on by the ever-pippy Gladys Knight

Casey gets Jackblacked

Casey Abrams and Jack Black sing the Queen hit "Fat-Bottomed Girls".
classic matchup choice, they look alike, and are both unconventional performers.
I think Jack Black had the better voice, but Casey probably plays bass better.

maybe... Very funny.


The Top 13 girls returned for a Beyoncé medley, and one could not help notice
how Thia Megia has matured into a beautiful sexy young woman. Her hormones
must be raging, because in these few weeks that have past, she has blossomed
like a gorgeous fertile flower. How soon until she's legal?

Eventually, Mrs. Jay-Z joined the gals onstage for a version of “Crazy in Love”,
with some very nice dancing by all, except Beyoncé needed her dancing flygirls
in tow to do the really difficult moves. All the girls hugged at the end, which was sweet.


Haley meets Tony

Haley hooked with an ancient yet spry Tony Bennett
for a jazzy "Steppin' Out With My Baby"
this just felt uncomfortable...

Lil Jon, TLC, Top 13 gals, abs

what started out interesting with Lil Jon intro-rapping,
TLC members T-Boz and Chilli sang their hits "No Scrubs" and "Waterfalls."
It looked like T-Boz ate the other TLC member, while Chilli has been doing
crunches for the past 15 years. Even Ryan remarked "nice abs."
Not much contribution from the Top 13 gals, but a nice hug from Thia.


The McG's in Outer Space Country

Scotty McCreery joined Tim McGraw for “Live Like You’re Dying”
(isn't that the name of a Kris Allen song? where was he at?)
The best thing about the performance were excellent outer space screen shots in
back of Space Scotty and brother Tim. Is this the country direction McBody is heading?
Wait until he gets a cool hat like Tim... Timmy!

Download Tim's dying record on iTUnes

Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw

The most beautiful and the most lucky

Marc Anthony sang the "El Cantante" hit "Aguanile” with help from
percussionist Sheila E. and ass-shaking by our J-Lo. I liked how Marc
checked out J-Lo's shaking butt and their nice kiss at the end.
the man is salsa-fied! what a lucky guy!

Download "El Cantante" on iTunes


Most shocking

a fun collage of James and Casey deliberating and dissing each other,
about whose elimination was most shocking, until the mighty Pia
appeared with a "Most Shocking Elimination" sash (and tiarra). cute!


The men in black meet the MAN

The Top 13 guys, dressed head-to-toe in black, did a Tom Jones(?) medley;
Really? how uncontemporary! Delilah? I just don't know. Once again, I enjoyed
seeing Stefano croon, but Casey and James doing TJ? NOT happening...
Mr Jones himself showed up for “It’s Not Unusual,” my favorite (and only)
Tom Jones song I've ever liked. I was surprised Jack Black didn't come onstage,
he was boogie-ing his Black ass off!


Edgy Gaga Doll

Lady GG pretty much simulated sex on the edge of a giant platform with
her boytoy GooGoon as she sang her new hit "On The Edge of Glory".
Wearing an amazing headpiece, soon to be tossed aside, she played a cool built-in
keyboard and looked stuck on the precipice (on the edge, I get it) and hardly
moved for the whole performance. But hey, she's GaGa for GoGo Puffs.
The lady can do what she wants, where and when.
She's on the edge of most glory holes.

iGaga Tunes


Lauren Under Wood

A nice performance of Carrie's “Before He Cheats", reminded me of one southern belle
chastizing another on the dangers of cheats, Ms. Underwood may as well be warning
Lauren Alaina on the dangers of cheating producers and record companies, as she'll
be heading up that same path. Lauren looked a bit intimidated and didn't have the same
belting-it-out style that Carrie displayed.... but hey, she's an American Country Idol!

iCheat Download



Beyond Say

The sexiest Idol mentor returned to sing her new hit “1 + 1".
Lots of smoke, red lights and emotion blew across the stage,
but the lady brought it, and showed what singing's all about.
She might have 99 problems, but her pitch ain't one.
Download it here baby!


SpiderBono on The Edge of Darkness

The stage is set up for Spider Man the musical, U2's Bono and The Edge are introduced, but who's
the hot dude singing? Is it David Archuleta's good-looking older brother? An Idol contestant we don't know?
It's Reeves Carney, the broadway lead from "Turn Off The Dark" and he's gonna turn on some ladies, I tell ya.
Reeves sings Bono-esque parts from the song "Rise Above" and it's just like any other U2 song you've
heard in the past 10 years. Bono Bono Bo-Bono, Banana-fanna fo-fono, fee-fi mo-mono, Bono.

As if a U2 appearance isn't enough, Spiderman himself swoops down from the rafters, in and out of
the audience, until he's upside down in front of J-Lo, ready for a kiss, like in the movie!
Prissy ole Jennifer gives him a "boop" on the nose, and cracks up, as Spidey returns to the rooftop!
I wanna see the play now!

Dream On StevieTy!

Something we've been waiting for all season, Steven Tyler actually performing.
He's at the piano for "Dream On" and then immediately stands up and launches
into the final chorus, for his patented falsetto ending. Too short! Was that Joe Perry
on guitar, or just a lookalike? Man, Joe's gonna be pissed!



No surprises here, Scotty McCreery has been the American Idol for the past few weeks,
ever since Pia was scorned by America. AS IF this show is really a singing competition,
it's all about who's the cutest crush for the majority of the voting audience, who I'd say
are between 6-16 year old girls. You can't beat a first-time crush. Sorry Lauren!

ah a hug from Thia, now that's a winner

Scotty hugs his parents, siblings, and double gramps,
but where's the hug for Jack Black!! hahah!

Lauren shows her good spirit and adoration,
planting fun kisses on Scotty's cheeks

Thank you American Idol, for one of the best shows
on television, and by far, the best reality show ever.

Congratulations Scotty McCreery, you are Gone!!

More Idol reviews from Test Press:

TOP 3 - Beyoncé, Jimmy & the Judges


TOP 4 - Songs That Inspire

TOP 5 - Now & Then

TOP 6- Take on Carole King


TOP 7- 21st Century


TOP 8 - At The Movies

TOP 9 - Hall of Fame Week

TOP 11 REDUX - Elton John Week

TOP 11- Motown Week

written and conceived by
Jefe aka Johnny Chiba